Rainy Days and Disappointment....

I really have nothing to complain about. I do have it pretty good - an awesome boyfriend, an awesome household, a loving family (that's not part of household), a car and always some financial stability, whether it's from my well-paying part-time job or assistance from my family.

But for some reason, for the past few days, it's been kinda off.

Firstly, I was disappointed that I couldn't do that film course I wanted to do as a gen ed over summer because it had a prerequisite. That kinda burst my bubble in the hopes of making a short film.

Then came the gig that I was involved in recently at Bar Me, and the end payment was quite dismal. I was disappointed because I had to attend quite a few rehearsals between July and November (that was at least 4 months of weekly rehearsals) and to only come up with a small amount of money really disappointed me... And it wasn't as though the gig actually led me anywhere (except to Bar Me Open Mics, which are awesome).

Yesterday, I met up with Alex to discuss doing a short film together, and asked me to do the sound design, and for some reason I didn't seem excited about it. He noted that I seemed not my bubbly self, and I didn't know why I was just not into it, but I felt distanced and just not with it then.

Then I had to deal with a difficult class yesterday, and usually they're not that bad, but for some reason they were worse. The threats did not seem to have an effect, and so a stern "I'm disappointed in all the boys in the class" (there's only one girl, and she's pretty much well behaved, and was the only one to receive a sticker at the end of the class) in front of their parents made them realise that I was not happy with them.

But what kinda upset me was something someone said to me last night over the internet. Granted it was the internet and interpretation can be skewed, but it really affected me and I was upset. Which made me wake up dreary and upset this morning, and waking up to the rain even added to the slight depression. This made me not be in the mood for work experience, which has been awesome in the past week, but I just wanted time to myself today and therefore chucked a sickie.

I'm trying relatively hard at the moment to appreciate all the great things I have, including wonderful Mark and the work experience opportunity, and having a great support network around with friends and family, all the small shitty things that get in the way just makes me feel a bit worn down. I should possibly go off the pill maybe, and hopefully then this small bout of depression will disappear.

I do, however, appreciate the rain, and waking up to it in the morning makes me wanna stay in bed all day.

I had a dream...

And it was an awesome prospect if it happened in real life...

Basically towards the end of the dream, I was in an office. I was asked by a random woman what I was doing during my Easter holiday... I said "Nothing... why?" and she asked me whether I would like to go to New York for some work experience.

OMG if this happened, say, sometime next year where I get to follow someone as a personal assistant to New York, I would totally cry.

So what did I do? I applied (late) for an internship at Sydney Symphony so even if I do not get considered this year, I can still have made some sort of "hey I'm around, if not I'll apply next year" type of thing. I'm hoping Sydney Symphony will still accept my application - it was only 4 days late... :S

Anyhow, I'm going to make sure that next year will be my final year of uni, or at least mostly my final year of uni. I really want to start working on a career... *sigh*

So what now?

Well, JMC is currently over, and I'm enjoying my spare time, although there are many things I need to do.

Can I be bothered doing them? No not really....

Like going to the gym. I've only been once in the past 3 months, and I went again last Monday... I should go again today, and do the exercise for half an hour 3 times a week thing to get fit and lose weight... but sigh, laziness prevails. Maybe I'll go after this blog entry.

Mark is fantastic as per usual... We're still in honeymoon period I think, and whenever I think of him I still smile heaps, so yah... Nothing's really changed there.

Back to UNSW next year, and I have like 2 options - either keep doing Music/Arts and graduate at the same time as Mark, or just do Music and kinda graduate at the end of next year and hopefully apply for a masters for the following year... I have no idea at the moment, and I have applied to just drop my arts, but I feel like getting it back now. Ah, fickle me.

Anyways, I'm at a point where I need to get things sorted, because I feel like uni should end soon, and that I need to start a career...

Ok - due to go gymming now....

Sorry for such a boring entry. :D

The truth about wine...

I love wine. Red wine especially. But I try to be a good girl and not drink and drive, and only have it when I'm sure someone else (namely Mark) will drive me around.

One thing I've noticed is that wine (or any type of alcohol, really) makes you honest. Inhibitions are gone, filters are barely there, and whatever you think, it's instantly verbalised.

Dan's family invited me to celebrate Flossiy's 21st, which I thought was very sweet of them to invite me, even though they only met me once or twice before. At the dinner, Dan had just a bit to drink, and on the way back decided to tell the truth... And truth be told, I was quite touched by what he had to say, and I may have had a tear or two in my eye. Anyhow, it was comforting to know that Dan still cares and loves me, and I still care and love him. And it's also nice that Mark trusts me, and doesn't seem too bothered by the fact that I still hang out with an ex.

Anyway, another encounter involving wine and "the truth" was tonight. I was at an open mic gig over at Bar Me in Kings Cross, and I accompanied a friend of mine who wants to keep on singing, and I also randomly accompanied this other guy with sheet music that I had to sight read. I also sang (not that fantastically, but I think I kept in tune), and I just had a lot of fun. And it was great listening to blues and bossa nova and jazz and rock and just impro stuff. There was a woman there named Jo who had an awesome voice, and in the break I went up to her to tell her how awesome she is, and then right back at me she goes "You're fantastic!" and told me how I should keep up with my playing and what not. I also discussed how I wanted to venture into jazz, and I needed to get a jazz teacher - she introduced me to another Daniel and said "If you were crap, I wouldn't even bother letting you know about Daniel and even talk to you..." Jo wasn't a huge fan of my friend's singing, and she was quite blunt about it as well, and she goes "I'm in honest mode here, with the help of wine and all, and I think you're fantastic, and your friend? I'm sorry..." I kinda felt bad because I had to hear about what Jo thought of my friend, and being a friend I should stick up for her, but at the same time, I kinda agreed with some of the things Jo had to say. I'm still giving my friend singing lessons, so hopefully I can steer her towards the right direction.

But the whole point of that story was that it was the wine that made Jo very blunt (or probably more blunt than usual), and made her babble on about how she thought I was really good and kept on encouraging me to keep practising and further my jazz abilities (of little I have).

On another note, Mark finally met my parents last Saturday. It was my mum's birthday dinner, so I told Mark to kinda make an impression and get her flowers and stuff - so not only did he get her a bunch of gorgeous flowers, he bought me 2 pink roses! They're currently on my bedside table and they smell absolutely lovely...

Dad seemed to like him, and Dad was surprisingly laidback and relaxed and encouraged Mark to drink more beer with him and what not. Mum was yadda yadda yadda as per usual, and judging him before even knowing him in a more relaxed environment. I told mum to give him a break, seeing as he's in a situation where he feels out of place and quite unfamiliar, and that despite what it seemed like at the dinner table, he's quite attentive and considerate towards my needs and wants... Oh well, despite my mum saying "You're the one going out with him, not me, so as long as you're happy", she can easily turn around and quickly judge without really knowing the guy. I must say, half the time she's pretty spot on, but I'm going to make sure she gives Mark a fair go, because my dad seems to say he's cool and that he says he wants to get to know Mark a bit better before he says anything, which is what mum should do, but won't do.

Okay... I'm kinda spinning out, so I think I should go to bed... Damn bed bugs - I've had an infestation lately, and it's making my life hell because I had quite an allergic reaction to the bites... Hopefully after all the washing of bed sheets and spraying of mattress and bed box, all will be fine and dandy and I won't get bitten anymore...

Despite bed bugs, I'm in such a happy place... :D

SmittenNess

*smitten!*

Just came back from the Blue Mountains with Mark a few hours ago, and we had such an awesome time over the weekend... Just relaxing and fun and carefree.

We left on Saturday afternoon after my usual morning teaching (my boss was a bit antsy and wouldn't let me take the final Saturday of term off), and got to our place we were staying in about 2 hours... We stayed at this very cute studio cottage called "Tricklebeck Cottage" in Blackheath, and it was quite private and just really pleasant. It had a spa, and we definitely took advantage of that...

Saturday afternoon and evening was spent just lazing around the cottage, and then going out for dinner. Sunday morning we slept in, then had a late breakfast and drove around to Echo Point. We strolled over to the Three Sisters, and then went for some wine tasting and bought a few bottles of wine. Then we visited the Blue Mountains Chocolate place nearby, and bought some chocolate and had some "real hot chocolate" - basically melted chocolate... oh it was just all too much! It had this really cool fondue thing with a spoon that doubled up as a straw and yah, really cool. Went back to the cottage, relaxed a bit with some cheese and wine, and then went out to dinner again.

Sunday we booked to go horse riding in the mountains, and we both agreed that we're totally not morning people. Horse riding is surprisingly sore for someone who doesn't do it often - my legs and butt had quite a bit of a workout! Anyways, it was such a lovely day, and the horses we had were lovely, and we spent a good 2 hours just strolling along on horseback, admiring the mountains. By the time we finished, we were hungry, and so Mark thought it'd be a great idea to go and have lunch in Mt Tomah, where there is a huge botanical garden and apparently really good food - which we didn't end up having because they decided to shut the restaurant that day. So we drove down to Bilpin and had some scones, pie and apple pie there. It was a pleasant drive, and for once it's awesome being in the passenger's seat.

After Bilpin, I wanted to venture down to the tearooms in Megalong Valley, and driving down the windy road was fun! :D We had more tea and scones, and just chilled out for a bit. I drove the way up, and we decided to finally utilise the spa... Chocolate, cheese, wine and a spa bath with heaps of bubbles made the afternoon totally awesome!

After the spa, we were kinda hungry, and finally we were able to get into this Italian restaurant nearby because the nights before were too busy or booked out. It was such lovely affordable food, and I got a wee tipsy because we've been having wine all afternoon and had another glass for dinner.

And we basically talked all night... It was - I dunno how to describe it, but yah, we established that we're totally comfortable with each other and that we love each other very very much, and hence the smittenness... I'm just totally happy and glowing, and I am thankful to have found such a wonderful person to share my life with... And we feel the same way about each other, it's quite amusing! :D

I wonder when this honeymoon period is about to end... Because I really don't want it to end at all. This is what I've wanted for quite sometime, and I feel extremely lucky to have found Mark and that he has found me...

Procrastimination...

I obviously should be doing my assignments... I found out about an assignment today that is due tomorrow, but fortunately enough it's something I can do in a short amount of time... hence the reason why I'm not doing it right now.

That 2000 word assignment due 2 weeks ago - still haven't handed it in. Will make it into 1500ish words instead and hopefully hand it in tomorrow. It's currently sitting at 1200ish words now, at least, so only a few hundred more words and I'm done like roast chicken.

Got a free tv - as if I need more procrastination tools. So I bought a digital set top box and a very cheap small dvd player, and connected it in. But the set top box doesn't work - why? Because it needs an antenna... duh. I'm such a ditz when it comes to situations like these. At least I connected the dvd player properly - that's definitely working.

Mark has been relatively busy in between show (which I see him anyways) and uni work - and I felt sorry for him yesterday when the night before he pulled an all nighter, and was just extremely tired the following day. I would never be able to do that... I would at least sleep for 2-3 hours even if I have to hand it in that day. For me now, though, I just sleep and not bother waking up and hand in assignments 2 weeks late instead of on time. Gah. I've finally broken one of the rules I had this year in regards to class - hand every assignment in time.

Oh and I'm very very excited about going to the Blue Mountains on the long weekend - we've booked ourselves a cottage and we're going to spend a whole 2-3 days together without worrying about whether we need to do this assignment or attend this rehearsal or mark these papers and what not. It'd be extremely nice, and very couplish... I haven't done this before, and I'm looking forward to it muchly... Photos will definitely be posted here when I come back!

CSE Revue is a bit crazy, but it's so much fun! Only 3 more shows to go... Then I won't be seeing my boy every single night. Oh well, I'll be seeing him anyways in the evenings most probably after work or something. I really adore him... if you haven't noticed!

*sigh* Should finish off my assignment now... Wish me luck!

AwesomeMark...

This weekend has been quite the Mark weekend - been spending a lot of time with him, and it's awesome!

Many aspects made the weekend quite the awesome weekend with my baby... First of all, his parents went camping over the weekend because of long weekend APEC, and so Mark invited me to come over and hang out for at least one night (ended up being all three nights) so he could cook me breakfast... :D So he's cooked me breakfast two mornings in a row, plus dinner on Saturday night, and will cook me breakfast tomorrow morning apparently as well... woohoo!

Mark driving me everywhere is also quite the novelty... It's been a while since I was able to just sit in a car and not worry about parking and speeding and traffic lights. And it also makes 40 minute car drives seem a bit shorter because we have eachother's company and conversation to make time pass by quickly.

But there was one golden moment of the weekend, and this moment is quite priceless...

Mark and James (Douglass, drummer of CSE Band) had to meet up a little bit earlier before today's tech run to grab some guitar leads for the show, so Mark and I picked him up on the way to Allans in Alexandria. Whilst they were drooling over the different guitars and drums after getting the leads they needed, Mark walked over to the amps section and found an amp he's been looking for for a while - a small, retro, re-released Fender Champion amp, a model that was made in the 60s or something, and once Mark played a guitar through that amp he instantly wanted it... Whilst contemplating whether to purchase this amp or not, Mark says:

"It's like the Ness version of an amp: Little and Awesome!"

So James walked away laughing, probably thinking how corny and cheesy that line was, and romantic in an odd way, and I just laughed for a very very very long time... Never before have I been compared to an amp, and I dunno whether it's a flattering thing or not - but Mark definitely made it into some sort of flattery! And despite all the laughing and giggling, I'm sure I was blushing on the inside....

Anyhow, I'm currently in his bedroom on my laptop, typing up this blog as I speak... I haven't been smitten like this in such an incredibly long time, and I'm having such fun with Mark - I absolutely adore him. For his birthday recently, I got him a bunch of Happy Birthday balloons and one big huge helium red guitar balloon (if you haven't figured out, he plays guitar) plus 13 little cupcakes, each having a candle spelling out HAPPY BIRTHDAY... and drove to his place and surprised him. Apparently, I impressed his parents, and his sister likes me already despite the fact she's in Sweden (I talked to her over the phone, it was kinda weird but pleasant).

So this is my selfish entry about how I love Mark and how I'm over the moon and just absolutely head over heels... So happy right now, it's ridiculous. :D