Trusting others and trusting yourself.

I feel as though I have a great amount of trust in people sometimes. Not to the general public, though, but towards friends and family.

One of my exs has told me that even though through all the hurt and confusion that I've been through love wise, I somehow seem to still have the ability to find love and possibility no matter what. He was definitely talking about Mark, and yah, even though I've been hurt quite a bit by boys treating me harshly, I still had the capability to be myself and fully immerse myself into my relationship with Mark.

So when I see friends having trouble trusting others when they are in the beginnings of a potential relationship or they seem interested in someone, they don't have the courage to pursue further because they don't trust the other person or themselves. And to be honest, I do try to understand and empathise, but sometimes I do think - just get over it, and be strong about it! Even though I myself am guilty of being lame in getting over things.

I think everything seems a bit rosy to me right now because I'm terribly happy in a relationship. We've been going out for 6 months now, and usually now is the time things go wrong (in every other relationship I've had), but right now it's perfect. So I don't know whether my positivity is due to my relationship with Mark, or whether I had this all the entire time. I must admit though, it didn't take me long to move on from one serious boyfriend to another - I think the longest time was around 3-4 months? And sometimes I feel that I haven't exactly gotten over the last one, but a few months into the current relationship, and I'm totally over it and smitten and just happy and on cloud nine.

I guess everyone approaches things their own way, but it kinda upsets me that some of my friends deny themselves of the same potential happiness that I have because they're afraid of getting hurt. I mean, isn't that what life is all about? If you don't experience hurt, all the good things that happen to you don't seem as special or as nice. I guess it is all relative, but I find that all the shit that happened to me made me appreciate the awesome things a lot lot more. Also, the hurt and bad and terrible experiences gives me something to talk about, rant about, and draw emotion from if I'm trying to do something creative and what not. But essentially, with all the crappy things around, there are good things to balance everything out.

I just wanna see my friends have courage to just get out there and get the happiness they deserve, and not worry about being hurt, and not worry about their image and self esteem, because to me they deserve it no matter what, and past experiences and stupid social conventions and superficiality should not get in the way of finding someone "to be home with", as one of my close friends would say.