so this is christmas...

it's the last week of teaching, and i've been getting a few cool presents from my students... today has been an exciting day for me!

got heaps of chocolate of course, and got my first bottle of wine the other day. also got some cupcake candles, and a music mug, and these awesome sterling silver music earrings. the best one which seems to capture me quite well is this cupcake cushion (see pic below) - it's a strawberry cupcake with little strawberries on top, and it's random and cute and just really cool. and the two best presents i got are from really good students, so maybe i should get students to be more awesome, and they will in return give me more awesome stuff. :D

and on monday mark asked me to come to queensland with him to visit his mum's side of the family, and spend time with his grandma in brisbane and noosa. i'm kinda looking forward to it, and kinda nervous about meeting and spending time with mark's family, but hopefully it'll all go well. the drive up to brisbane would be interesting - a good 10-12 hours with his parents in the same car, i'm sure there'll be a story out of that one somehow! :D

it'll be the first christmas that i've spent without my family, which is kinda interesting. it'll be with mark's family, so at least it's not on my own, but i hope my parents don't think i'm distancing myself too much away from them. but i'm totally in love with mark, and mark doesn't seem to not like time apart from me, and vice versa, so i hope my parents will understand.

it's been pretty awesome so far, and it's not even christmas yet. i have a new found appreciation for teaching (and no, it's not all about the presents, it's the fact that i've bonded with some of my students quite well, and it's gonna be disappointing if i don't teach some of them next year), and i'm excited about finishing my degree next year, and just hanging around with mark heaps. :D

a few more sleeps, and christmas will be here! and just to add, this is a photo that one of my closest friends hein took, and it sums up basically how much mark and i are in love with eachother... :D

A Midnight Post

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Have been sick lately, and last week I caught the cold, and then it transferred into tonsilitis... it's been quite uncomfortable to swallow and sore, and the sinuses aren't helping much with it either. Currently taking penicillin to get over it, apparently the tonsilitis was quite bad.

I'm feeling better than this morning, when I woke up to heavy stomach pains from taking pills on an empty stomach. Naughty me! But the cramps existed for about an hour until it subsided after I ate some bread despite the fact I wasn't hungry. But after the doctor's appointment I went home and stayed in bed all afternoon feeling sick and ew. My sinuses now feel a bit clearer, but I'm still getting headaches and my throat is still a bit sore, so hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Up the road there's this house party of 50-60 year olds dancing to a cover band singing songs like "Pretty Woman", "Stand By Your Man", "Blue Suede Shoes" and other classic rock tunes. I was walking past whilst on my way to satisfy my midnight cravings with a kebab, and I wondered whether it would be cool to gatecrash this party? I'm sure I'll have no trouble fitting in with the oldies!!! :D

Talking about kebabs, I just had half of a kebab for the first time in a very long while. It wasn't that great, because the meat was a bit overcooked and dried out, so it scratched my throat a bit. But yah, I miss pigging out on unnecessary foods - not that I've really stopped, but being sick for the past few days, you don't really feel like eating much. Or when you do grab a whole heap of food, you don't feel like it anymore halfway through. I even gave chocolates away the other day, instead of keeping it all to myself and consuming it on the way home... Quite proud of that achievement!

And a few hours ago I got to talk to Mark online for an hour and a bit. Goash I miss him so much. We're the sappiest couple ever, I reckon, and we always say how we miss each other and love each other and never to be apart ever again! I'm counting the days - 4ish more days left and he'll be saying hallo and greeting me at the airport. I absolutely adore him and he's my everything at the moment, and I do hope we never ever lose each other.

Christmas is around the corner - meaning my bank account is going down. Sigh, I need to control my savings a lot better... But I've gotten half the Christmas pressies so far, just need to wait to get paid again so that I can go for some more Christmas present shopping.

Hope everyone is well, as opposed to me, and I love you Marky baby if you're reading... xxoo!

the need to move on...

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i really need to move on from things... like a particular ex of mine that had an interesting situation, where one comment really made me upset, and it somehow turned into "i don't know why you're not happy for me - you're the only one who is not happy for me..." totally not what i was on about, totally different topic, but just slightly annoyed by the fact that he once told me that i accuse him for doing certain things when he didn't mean them that way and that i just misinterpreted them, and then he turns around and kinda does the same thing to me.

i don't know, i guess i shouldn't dwell on the past. it creates baggage. i just felt misunderstood, and foolish to have felt the things i felt for him, and even though he says he does not at all undervalue the relationship we had, i just feel.... i dunno how to describe it... i wasn't good enough. despite all the things he says about me being great and fun and that i wasn't at all just for convenience.

i guess that relationship just wasn't meant to be. and in a way we both know that. he definitely didn't see it, so there's no point in me trying to find it.

AND i have found mark. mark is absolutely wonderful, and i just don't know why i'm still hanging on to this. mark's away for 10 days over at sweden, so i guess i should use this time alone to not only miss mark terribly, but to heal over the relationship i had with my ex. with all my exs actually. i dunno whether i'm over one of them yet. i'm definitely over my first ever serious ex, but the last serious two i should probably work on closure.

mark, baby, i miss you. can't wait til you come home...