i really need to move on from things... like a particular ex of mine that had an interesting situation, where one comment really made me upset, and it somehow turned into "i don't know why you're not happy for me - you're the only one who is not happy for me..." totally not what i was on about, totally different topic, but just slightly annoyed by the fact that he once told me that i accuse him for doing certain things when he didn't mean them that way and that i just misinterpreted them, and then he turns around and kinda does the same thing to me.
i don't know, i guess i shouldn't dwell on the past. it creates baggage. i just felt misunderstood, and foolish to have felt the things i felt for him, and even though he says he does not at all undervalue the relationship we had, i just feel.... i dunno how to describe it... i wasn't good enough. despite all the things he says about me being great and fun and that i wasn't at all just for convenience.
i guess that relationship just wasn't meant to be. and in a way we both know that. he definitely didn't see it, so there's no point in me trying to find it.
AND i have found mark. mark is absolutely wonderful, and i just don't know why i'm still hanging on to this. mark's away for 10 days over at sweden, so i guess i should use this time alone to not only miss mark terribly, but to heal over the relationship i had with my ex. with all my exs actually. i dunno whether i'm over one of them yet. i'm definitely over my first ever serious ex, but the last serious two i should probably work on closure.
mark, baby, i miss you. can't wait til you come home...
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