It was love at first sight - Your gorgeous round face and big, bright eyes. You started talking, I was engaged, You had a way of capturing people's attention.
A sociable one, approaching people and making them feel loved, But not one for being egotistical or too proud. You knew you were handsome, yet you weren't one to flaunt, Instead you would freely share your affection.
You were loyal towards me until the very end, Following me and waiting for me. Your concerns when I came home late, Sitting (im)patiently at the end of the hallway Or on my bed - the stare from you was priceless!
I will miss your playfullness, Your talkative times and your headbutts. Our cuddles will be reminisced And the lazy times where we'd chill out in bed.
Although brief, our time together was awesome. You've made an impression not only on me But on others whom you have met along the way. Be good, Oscar... Remember me as the one Who gave you that tartan collar And lots of love, kisses and headbutts.
I'll miss you Oscar!!!! I hope to meet another cat just like you. Hugs and kisses from afar!
Last weekend was one of the most fun but most bizarre weekends ever, as a couple of things happened that I had least expected. That is, not everything went to plan.
HOWEVER, I now have a new brainchild. I was so excited by it on Monday night that I didn't sleep until 1am. I'm starting to calm down about it, but I was just telling all my closest friends and everything. I love being inspired, and I love having projects in mind. Difference is whether I actually fulfil them or not. I feel as though next year is the year of huge projects, and I'm going to go through at least the two I have in mind.
Sorry for being vague, but I am tres excited!
In other news, I'm trying to get back into normal life... Or at least start a new routine. Have joined a gym last week, so I should utilise that ASAP otherwise it's another waste of moneys. Have quite a few social events this week that I'm looking forward to, and this weekend looks like a huge weekend coming up as well! A dinner party, a picnic, another party, a show maybe, and then Britney's concert on Monday. Yes, I'm going to see Britney mime. :D
I'm just totally excited about life now! It's the greatest feeling, really.
As much as I hate to say this, I think tomorrow will be the last day of a period of my life where it has taken great significance, and has helped me to the place I am right now.
I think I may have fallen out of love of piano.
And it makes me sad to realise this, because piano has been a huge part of my life. But several years ago when I started my BMus (yes, it was that long ago), I realised I didn't have the same talent or dedication that some of my peers had, or the natural musicality and technique some of them carried. As of late, I've noticed it even more so. I feel fraudulant calling myself a "pianist" because I'm not of the calibre that most of my peers were at Uni and at my teacher's studio. For a while I tried really really hard - practicing hours on end, and just trying to get these damn Creole dances under my fingers. But in the end I got a decent mark (75), but not the marks that everyone else were getting - 80, 85, 90, 92... I know I shouldn't have to compare myself to others, and just do the best to my ability, but it made me sad that even when I do my best, I can never be the best.
Piano, however, introduced me to the world of theatre. With my piano skills, I was able to do some things, such as accompanying and being part of musical theatre shows. That's when my love of musical theatre started to grow substantially, and the skills that I attained through my degree and piano lessons enabled me to musical direct student theatre shows and just expose me to a great group of talented and fun friends, and to immerse myself in the wonderful world of musical theatre.
It has also made me realise that I'm not a performer. I know what I want to get out of it, but I can't seem to channel it, especially through the piano. I can tell people how, and I can observe and criticise, but to actually do it myself - somehow it just doesn't show. Same with my acting - not that I've done much acting, but I don't think I can fully be comfortable with myself to expose myself that way. Even with my singing - I think I have a couple of restrictions with my voice and even if I work hard at it and stuff, I don't think I can ever get to a level to some of my friends are.
Hence being comfortable taking the "director" chair, and telling other people to do it. I actually have a thrill seeing awesome theatre. I physically get chills down my spine. The first show I saw on Broadway, In the Heights, I cried. I had the whole "oh wow, this is theatre" feeling, and I was brought to another place. I've had friends' performances give me that feeling of "wow, magic" before. And I guess if I'm able to do a show where I get that for 75% of the performance (at least), I will feel as though I've succeeded.
So tomorrow, here's to passing my piano exam. All I want is this degree, and finish this part of my life. Start something new. I've finally found my calling - I really want to direct. I want to create and mould and visiualise and conceptualise. I want to wow, I want to make magic, I want to leave an impression. I want people to think and realise and empathise and sypmathise and just want. I don't think I've ever been this sure about my life in a very long, long time.