Appearances can be "deceiving"...

Well... the whole "age" thing. It's a curious thing, some people make a huge issue out of it, and some don't. It also depends on the context - people think 23 (my current age) is young, and some think it's old. I don't find it a huge issue that I'm a bit older than Mark (by like a measly 7 months) but my parents made a huge issue once when I had one boyfriend who was one month younger than me.

I had some students - twins, actually, who asked me how old I was. They're going through a phase where they want to know everything about someone. They thought that I looked fairly young, and thought I was still a teenager, which I thought was cute. Then I had a mother of a student yesterday ask me whether I had my own children - and I'm like hell no! I'm not even married yet! Her reasoning was because I seem to be really good with kids, and thought I would have some of my own to be experienced in such a way.

And there have been other numerous times where people thought I'm younger, or much older, either because I act the same age as them, or if I'm "older" it's because I seem experienced, wise and worldly. In a way I guess they're both flattering, so yah, I just find it very intriguing that people perceive you differently in different situations and contexts. When I'm vocal directing a University Revue, people assume that I'm a lot older than I am (I'm still relatively older anyhow, I should've graduated 2-3 years ago) because of the whole authoritative figure. Oh vell, both are compliments in a way, so I should just take them as they are.

Since we're on this road of "self-discovery", I also concluded that I'm too nice sometimes. I seem to care about people who don't even give a damn about me sometimes, or are self-absorbed or something... Friends that I whinge to tell me to let go of them. But it's hard, I don't know why but I must have something that I identify with them, and hence the friendship. I sometimes also get involved when I shouldn't, and the energy invested in 'solving' people's problems by listening to them and offering them advice usually amounts to nothing. I am becoming a bit more selfish lately, and keeping to myself more so in light of this, but there are a few things that make me curious and always go back to ask that one last question or to keep them company and what not. I've been known to be generous, and it's basically me thinking "if I were them, what would I like?", such as offering a lift to the station to make things a little easier. If I have such a luxury (a car) I should share it, and hopefully they'll do something in return. I don't do things expecting a return, but I do like appreciation. And I also find it hard to say no sometimes, and that's one thing I need to do. More me time, less everyone else time.

Sigh - a bit of a wah, but that's what blogs are for, right?

comments: 1


you're a young person who's capable of being a seriously good mother ;)

and yeah about time u're selfish..
there's no selfish bone in your body..

whenever teddy sings that during la mancha i always thought of you LOL

"in my body.. as well known.. there is not one selfish bone"