There's nothing like Christmas...

Christmas started with an all traditional Midnight Mass. Went to St Brendan's back home in Bankstown, and it was a nice mass, bumping into old friends and seeing lots of unfamiliar faces... Dragged Mark along, and he felt a bit out of place, and it was a bit foreign to him, but I appreciated the fact that he came to keep me happy. :D

So I met Mark's extended family on Christmas day for lunch - they all seem really lovely! :D And I also finally got to meet Mark's sister Linda, who came over to visit from Sweden. She's absolutely lovely and got me awesome pressies! I got a little Fairy cookbook to make things for my students, and Pam (Mark's mum) got me heaps of baking utensils, like an awesome red rolling pin, a pink spatula/spoon thing, some confetti and candles and cupcakes... Oh and Linda also got me a very very cute apron! And some loose leaf gold - REAL edible gold! Maybe I should make something for my own little birthday party!

Then I also went to my parent's house and we had a BBQ. Big day for eating, may I say! Tony, Dad and I had fun cooking on their new BBQ (it's huge!) and the lamb and beef were very very nice. I ordered some head phones for Tony on Ebay, and they haven't arrived yet, so I'm sure he'll receive it soon.

And today, Boxing Day, I treated myself for Christmas! Boxing Day sales meant shopping for me - got some Bills cook books, The Ultimate Travel Book from Lonely Planet having info on every single country in the world, the "softies" and "more softies" toy books, two sheridan bath towels (one red for me, one blue for Mark), and a Mundial Knife Block set. All in all, I'm totally happy with the purchases!

Mark promised me knitting stuffs, so I aksed him tomorrow whether we can pop in quickly into Morris and Sons and get me a knit picks interchangable set... Dunno whether to get Options or Harmony, but I think I may opt for the Options because I like slick. :D

Here's to another Christmas - this year was actually quite nice, and I had fun giving presents as much as I received presents... Next year I'll be more organised with my knitting and people will actually get their knit presents on time... :D

Creative week? Maybe...

Did a few things this week that tapped into my creative crafty side...

My first attempt to dye... Well that was interesting! I followed the instructions on Pea Soup's blog on microwave dying with food dye using 100g of Naturelle Chunky 14 ply that I bought from Morris and Sons. I did this as a project for the Christmas Swap on Ravelry's OTF group, and the swapee I had mentioned Christmas colours, so I chose red and green and left a section white.

I wasn't happy with how I blotched some of the colours together, and that when I rinsed it some of the red food dye managed its way to the white section and it turned out a very light shade of pink... But once it was wound up it actually looks alright, and the pink doesn't scream out like it did in a skein.

So here's a pic of the yarn in a ball - I've already knitted a bit of it to make the Christmas stocking, but it still looks kinda pretty!



And here's the Christmas stocking for the swap. :D First time I did something similar to a sock, and it was a fairly quick knit.



So when it's knitted up it's not too bad, the pink is not too obvious. But in the ball and when it was in a skein that was like ten more obvious... Anyhows, I hope my swapee likes it anyways!

And last night I made some cupcakes! I used the Magnolia Bakery's recipe for Vanilla Cupcakes, and they turned out okayish... They're really sweet! I initially did another batch beforehand of Chilli Chocolate cupcakes, but I accidentally put one tablespoon of baking powder instead of one teaspoon, and it deflated on me ten folds. And Mark didn't seem to like it either, so I threw it out.

Here are some pics of the Vanilla Cupcakes with Vanilla Buttercream Icing! :D I think I did an okay job, and I must say it makes a hell of a difference when you have an electric hand beater - not having one last time made my buttercream all runny, and this time it was spreadable!



I'm practicing my cupcake making so that I can make a whole big batch on Friday for the students doing their recitals next Saturday and Sunday... So I'll be baking cupcakes all day, that's for sure!

And the other day Mark was visiting his parents, and I thought I'd come up later and pick him up and drop in to say hi as well. Pam (his mum) and I were talking about knitting, and she said that she found Mark's scarf that he made when he was in year 5 or 6 in Primary school! Pam was so nice to let me have it, and it just seems so cool to have something that he crafted when he was younger that is actually kinda functional.

Mark told me that when he made it, he didn't really want to, and so to finish the project as quickly as possible he made sure he used the biggest needles he could find - 13mm. He also used 3 colours, which was not what many other kids were doing in the class, and he told me of races that he had every now and then to see who finished a row the quickest.

So as you can see - for a first (and only) knitting project, I think Mark did extremely well for a 11 year old boy. I think young boys have better motor skills than young girls (I teach piano, and is a common observation not only from myself, but from others as well). His ends were just tied (obviously didn't care about weaving ends in) and there was one or two dropped stitches, but in general a pretty good job!

I have a theory that he may have changed needles half way - what do you think?
The right side is tighter than the left side, so I'm assuming that his
tension improved, or he changed needles sizes... Not quite sure...

As you can see here - he just tied the ends... :D

And this is one scarf that I will treasure for a while. I'll even whip it out when we have kids and go "See? Even Dad knitted once!" Well, first thing's first, we need to get married and have kids, but that's another 10 years or so away!

Oh and other good news to add is that all my students who went for exams passed! They all got a Credit (B) for their piano exams, and I'm totally happy about it. I'm also teaching another student that I used to teach when I was home in Bankstown, and I'm glad that she thought of me when her mother wanted to change teachers... I guess I'll be teaching piano for quite some time, hey?

So here's another week to creativity - am up to my neck full of projects that I want to start, and have started and want to finish ASAP... I wish I was a faster knitter, or I had motivation to knit more! Ravelry and the internets are very distracting sometimes...

Laptop out of action

The power supply for my laptop has died, and now I can't access everything straight away on the intertron. I have to wait for Mark to finish something, or for Mark not to be home to use his computer and check my email and update myself on what I usually read every morning without fail. :S So now it's the first morning where I've been able to have the computer for more than 5 minutes, and I'm finally up to date 2 hours later...

On the up side, I have done a lot more knitting. Haven't finished that essay and probably never will... I need a power supply soon though because I need to mock up an e-flyer for my teaching's end of year concert, and I need my photoshop to do all that. Sigh.

But it goes to show how much time I spend on the internet - I'm going to try and tone it down a bit I guess, and get more things done, even if it's just knitting and doing things around the house - that reminds me, need to do my laundry. I guess I'll start it now.

I really have nothing exciting to tell except for the knitting projects I have finished for a recent swap on Ravelry. More details later I guess - once I get my computer up and running again.

Oh well - off to do some housework and get myself cleaned and organised and make a few phonecalls. I wonder if anyone really reads my blog (besides you Hein... :P) Would like to update my layout and personalise it a bit more - anyone able to help me on that?

Oooo I hear my boyfriend is back from his guitar lesson... Better look productive!

Appearances can be "deceiving"...

Well... the whole "age" thing. It's a curious thing, some people make a huge issue out of it, and some don't. It also depends on the context - people think 23 (my current age) is young, and some think it's old. I don't find it a huge issue that I'm a bit older than Mark (by like a measly 7 months) but my parents made a huge issue once when I had one boyfriend who was one month younger than me.

I had some students - twins, actually, who asked me how old I was. They're going through a phase where they want to know everything about someone. They thought that I looked fairly young, and thought I was still a teenager, which I thought was cute. Then I had a mother of a student yesterday ask me whether I had my own children - and I'm like hell no! I'm not even married yet! Her reasoning was because I seem to be really good with kids, and thought I would have some of my own to be experienced in such a way.

And there have been other numerous times where people thought I'm younger, or much older, either because I act the same age as them, or if I'm "older" it's because I seem experienced, wise and worldly. In a way I guess they're both flattering, so yah, I just find it very intriguing that people perceive you differently in different situations and contexts. When I'm vocal directing a University Revue, people assume that I'm a lot older than I am (I'm still relatively older anyhow, I should've graduated 2-3 years ago) because of the whole authoritative figure. Oh vell, both are compliments in a way, so I should just take them as they are.

Since we're on this road of "self-discovery", I also concluded that I'm too nice sometimes. I seem to care about people who don't even give a damn about me sometimes, or are self-absorbed or something... Friends that I whinge to tell me to let go of them. But it's hard, I don't know why but I must have something that I identify with them, and hence the friendship. I sometimes also get involved when I shouldn't, and the energy invested in 'solving' people's problems by listening to them and offering them advice usually amounts to nothing. I am becoming a bit more selfish lately, and keeping to myself more so in light of this, but there are a few things that make me curious and always go back to ask that one last question or to keep them company and what not. I've been known to be generous, and it's basically me thinking "if I were them, what would I like?", such as offering a lift to the station to make things a little easier. If I have such a luxury (a car) I should share it, and hopefully they'll do something in return. I don't do things expecting a return, but I do like appreciation. And I also find it hard to say no sometimes, and that's one thing I need to do. More me time, less everyone else time.

Sigh - a bit of a wah, but that's what blogs are for, right?

It's October already?

And basically I feel like nothing much has improved. My money situation, my health, my bad habits, procrastination.... Sigh. My attempts to "change" have failed miserably yet again.

So what do I wanna do? TRY AGAIN! WOOOT!

One thing I have realised is that I have definitely put on weight (as opposed to lose weight, which was what I was aiming to do since God knows when). I'm the heaviest that I've ever been, and I'm not growing any taller (unfortunately... the height gods spite me).

I realise that an expensive Gym membership does not motivate me any more to go exercise, so I thought before I get another Gym membership (because the last one has lapsed) I have to prove myself worthy of one - I'm going to go for jogs/walks every single day for at least 15 minutes and develop my fitness and to just do some physical activity for when I'm in bed the whole entire day (like today - stayed on my bed doing NOTHING!). So starting today, I am running around the block each day and if my time gets better, I'll do extra rounds or change the route so I run a longer distance.

Another thing I realised is that I don't fit nicely into half the clothes I used to fit in. I have awesome skirts, pin-striped pants, jeans, flattering tops, evening/cocktail dresses that I can fit in, but my fat deposits are like bulging out everywhere. Or they just don't fit. Sigh - I think I may have technically put on like 12 kg since first year (which is quite a while ago) and so I think I better work on losing it again. I liked the clothes I had before, and I really don't want to throw them out - therefore, we all know what the obvious solution is.

And the last thing that has prompted me to wanna diet is my family. My mother comments every single time I visit her about how fat I am, my dad is always telling me to "get fit" - it's his nice way of telling me that I've put on weight, and the whole recent thing of my granddad dying and the prospect of going back to Vietnam - the thought of my extended family telling me off for how fat I am made me cringe. When I was a couple of kilos lighter, my extended family was telling me off about how fat I was back then, so imagine the insults and comments now??? I don't want to... it depresses me.

Talking about depression, I have a feeling that my mother may have it. She is physically sore and is definitely not happy, and I guess me not visiting her today didn't quite help. Dad wanted me to take her to the GP today, but Mum said that her GP is on holiday for the next two weeks. Dad, however, is still in Vietnam for my Granddad's funeral. And I know I should be a good daughter and take care of her, but (even though todays attempt was an epic fail) I'm fairly behind with my uni work, and wanted to use today to do it. I've been listening to Dad's side of things, and Mum's side of things, and it appears to me that my mother is paranoid about my dad leaving her, or that all his investments will fail somehow and Dad will send the family bankrupt, or some other disaster like that. She's always thinking the worst, being the pessimist she is. My Vietnamese vocabulary ain't that grand, so I can't explain to her what I want to tell her. She refuses to listen to my dad, and in turn Dad has started to not tell her everything, but not hiding it that well so when Mum finds out, all hell breaks loose. To be honest, I reckon that some couple counseling between Mum and Dad would help, and I know Dad has tried it before (but with our Parish Priest), but I feel that someone who has no connection to either Mum or Dad would help the situation much more than someone who is on Dad's side, or who knows both parties and so therefore have to be more careful in terms of things to say or do.

But in light of all this, I've also realised a couple of other things - communication is important in a relationship. Refusing to listen is disrespectful, and I have a feeling that my mother is refusing to listen to Dad, but now Dad in turn has refused to listen to Mum and she is slowly feeling isolated. Dad says my mother has everything, and blames the Vietnamese community for stirring shit about our family and about Dad especially. But once you start listening to gossip and trusting gossip more so than your own husband who you apparently know, wouldn't that mean you're no longer in a relationship that is equal and respectful? I get really frustrated with my mother when she talks crap about Dad, and she starts telling me off for believing in him, but until she shows me hard copy evidence that Dad is doing all the things that he's apparently doing, I have no reason to believe her.

I also think that because she doesn't have work to do, and basically is a stay at home mum who gets an allowance and just goes shopping and all that, she starts worrying about Dad's agendas too much, and once he starts not doing what she thinks is right, she takes offense and thinks that it's a plot against her somehow. She doesn't really exercise (she walks everywhere though, which is a plus) and she doesn't eat extremely healthily (she's always watching her weight, and on a diet despite the fact that she weighs 45kg... can you see where I get the self-conscious thing from?). Even though I do want to lose weight, I also want to get back my healthy lifestyle of being active again (I used to walk everywhere and do a run each day, now I just drive everywhere and I'm fairly stationary for quite some time). I believe having a healthy physical being equates to a healthy mentality and emotional stability. Because she stresses, I feel it translates to her body and puts her in pain where even a specialist says there is nothing wrong with her. If, say, she was exercising and eating the right foods (instead of relying on Chinese herbal medicines and practices and no protein and stuff) maybe she wouldn't be entirely paranoid about everything. But I should say maybe with caution, as we do have a family history of mental illness, and it just so happens that my mother may be in the initial stages of this illness.

So what have I learnt? Quite a bit. What am I doing? Not quite a lot... So I'm going to attempt to write an essay once more, then cook some dinner, then keep you updated with my jogging attempts and what not. There's also another thing I don't wanna be, and to me it's kinda sad but true, and that is I don't want to be like my mum. I love her, and I care for her, but she is not quite the role model I would be going for. Sorry Mum...

Family happenings and non-happenings

So, I got a phone call from my mother this morning. She said she's going into the hospital on Friday to check what's wrong with her. She's been pretty sick for the past month, and last week she fainted in the bathroom and Dad got her to Bankstown Hospital. They said they couldn't find anything except for an ulcer in her oesophagus, so she was sent home and was told that if she still feels pain she should go to a specialist - which she did. So I'm coming home tomorrow to help her with some paperwork because she wants to have things taken care of just in case she needs to stay in hospital.

Mum also mentioned about how Grandpa on Dad's side is dying. He too was in hospital, but he was sent home saying that he's pretty much ready to die. How horrible is that? I would prefer a quick death, personally. But Mum said that Dad's waiting on Mum's results on Friday before Dad would go anywhere... Also Dad needs to organise his business so that it could take care of itself for a while so that he could at least attend the funeral over in Vietnam. All this sadness... And I know that when Dad gets over there for the funeral, it'll be more than just a funeral, it'll be a time where his relatives (distant and immediate) will ask him for more money. I feel sorry for Dad at the moment...

And then Tony calls me this morning and RICKROLLS me! He called me from the home phone, so it could be either Mum or Dad or Tony himself, and when I pick up I get the infamous song that has made an internet phenomenon. It kinda lightened up the day for me after a bit of worry from my family.

Anyhows - I should stop procrastinating on the internets and do something productive - like uni essays! Woot!

Compliments, Affirmations and Apologies...

Like many people, I don't receive compliments too well. I sometimes say thanks, or I mainly degrade myself and go "nah, I'm (insert negative comment here) ". Although, I also admit that I don't give out compliments too much. When I work with people, sometimes I forget to tell them that they're doing an awesome job, or that I appreciate their work, so I've been trying to do so recently by thanking people heaps... Dunno whether it's enough but anyways.

I also have noticed that my Markyboo compliments me and tells me he loves me all the time. It's like when we don't really have anything to say, but he wants to say something, he'll go "You're cute, and little, and cute, and I love you!" No one has ever said those things so many times in a day as he has ever. I obviously tell him that he's handsome and lovable and all that too, but this is also the first time I've done it to anyone. To this extent anyways... I dunno - am I the only odd one here that finds it hard to compliment loved ones?

Anyhow... I got a drunken message from one of my best mates Hein, saying that he loves me and thanked me for putting up with all his shite especially in the last few weeks whilst he felt cynical and bitter about the world (and men in general, which I don't blame him for). I felt loved and appreciated, and for a best friend to say that to me randomly, I felt blessed. So I messaged him back this morning saying I feel the same, and even though I do, it felt contrived in a sense only because I'm trying to reciprocate what Hein said to me... Which is what I kinda do with Mark as well... :S

Then oddly enough, this morning I got another phone call - this time from my old high school friend Dong Yi. She, myself and Regina (another high school friend) caught up yesterday over Yum Cha, and it was really nice to see them again. So when she called me it was kinda out of the blue, and she went "Hey, I used to call you fat in high school, didn't I?" "Uh... I dunno, maybe you did. I was a bit chubby, so yah, I didn't really care." Then she goes "That's not nice. I'm sorry." So yah... random apology from a good friend of mine - which I also appreciate, but still, random.

So I guess I should be more appreciative of people around me, and just be nice. :D Back to do some knitting I guess. It's been hibernating for quite some time.

My Posts are way boring

I'm more interesting in real life. :P

Being sick sucks

And I'm not extremely sick or anything, but having a cold for like the 50th time this year sucks. It's like Mark and I play sick tag throughout the whole year, and the late nights, poor diets, shows, weather and everyone around us being sniffly and sick too doesn't help.

(<---- That's me being miserable and wah. :P)

And having things to do like uni assignments, teaching little kids on a Saturday morning and conducting an orchestra doesn't really help. I just wanna sleep all day, and if I'm awake I wanna lie in bed just knitting and watching a movie or something. My health is just lame at the moment, and it doesn't help that when you go to the docs all they say is "bed rest and you will be fine"... But doc - I do have bed rest, but I never fully get over it! C'mon... gimme some drugs!

In other news I've finally got hatted. :D Frog from Perth (that's her name on Ravelry and the Woolaholics forum) hatted me, and I'm like nooooooo! I haven't even had a chance to receive my unfinished hat to make into a killer hat yet! So I either blame Australia Post for being lame, or other people not being prompt enough with their hat deliveries...
So Thanks Frog for the lovely hat! And it was a fun game... I came second place, so that's awesome! :D

Sorry for the crappy quality photos - couldn't be bothered using my proper camera, just used my phone camera. Not that it really matters, but yah. I'm sick and tired of being just that - sick and tired. I want to be healthy Ness! *sigh*

Things are getting done... kinda

Man of La Mancha opens tomorrow night. I'm hoping everything will turn out well - we had an intensive 6 hour rehearsal (with 2 hours prior figuring things out and bumming around a bit) which helped solidify things a bit, and unfortunately we didn't get to rehearse with cast that much, but that's ok. Once Man of La Mancha opens on Tuesday, hopefully most of my job is over and I can relax and just ease into things at uni.

Surprisingly I got the hat done for Death by Hat about a week ago and sent it off.


And surprise surprise! I'm the top two who are still alive!!!! I thought I would've been dead by now, but no, I'm still going. I'm waiting to either be killed with a hat, or another project to finish off.

On Saturday I went to see Dralion - it was awesome! I absolutely loved the theatrics and the acrobatics and the dancing and the juggling and the ACTING as well are just all breathtaking! I recommend everyone to go see it, as Cirque du Soleil may be expensive but it's worth it every time. And now I've conned my parents into seeing Phantom of the Opera soon.

Right now I'm just really lazy to do things. I wanna do things, but I don't. I will soon I guess. Tonight is dress run and so I'm just going to laze it up before I have to teach this afternoon and then be on my toes for the rest of the night.

What am I up to these days?

Seriously, I've been busy, but I just don't know whether I have the effort to explain it all.

I feel as though I'm growing more sensitive to people's bad moods and snappy behaviour. I used to brush it off and go "Well, I'll try not to be like them and not do the same, don't take it to heart and just move on", but when people do that I automatically just want to hide. For a while at least. I do get over it. But I just feel a bit more sensitive in general these days.

I've also been wanting to be less social these days too. Like - I love my close friends, and I miss them, like Hein I haven't seen for a while (I've seen him at social gatherings but we haven't caught up one on one in ages), and my high school friends Regina and Dong Yi, and I don't mind having personal catch ups, but big social groups I'm feeling less inclined to be around.

I think it's because I'm doing so much rehearsal, and I've started teaching a lot more as well, so I have about 50 or so students that I see a week, plus a cast of 20 that I see at least once a week with an Orchestra of 10, and another cast of 30 that I bump into... I just feel like I want to stay home and just be myself and not do much.

Staying at home I like to knit. I should catch up on my readings for class today... but I feel like knitting after my blog. I'm currently in this game called Death by Hat, but I'm sure I'm going to be one of the first ones to get out... I haven't even started my hat yet, and some people have finished over the weekend when I didn't even have the chance to check the forums for which pattern I had to use. Death by Hat is where you get a victim, and you knit them a hat. If you receive a hat, that means you are "killed" and therefore if you're still half-way through your hat, you send it back to your killer, and the killer finishes it off for the victim you were assigned to. The idea is to be a fairly quick knitter, and also to be lucky enough not to be killed. Last one standing gets recognition... I don't know if there is an official prize. But the awesome thing about Death by Hat is that everyone gets a knitted hat in the process. Which is a nice and challenging game, one of which I'm losing big time. :D

And soon we have the Ravelympics, where you start a project when the Olympics start, and finish it by the time the Olympics end. It's not a race per se, but if you finish it, you get a point for your team, and it's the amount of finished objects a team can get throughout the Ravelympics. You also get an online badge to put on your blog to say that you participated in it. So I'm looking forward to starting that when I have the time - if I have the time!

Talking about time, I've been asked to be rehearsal pianist for a school production over at Rosebank again. That means $$$! This starts in Term 4, which will be awesome because I hope that by then my uni studies will be over. And this will carry into Term 1 next year. I'm not too crash hot on the choice of the musical (The Wiz... I slept through the end of the movie...) but hey, more musical theatre experience even if it's at a high school.

So uni has started, I'm now doing 18 hours of teaching as opposed to the 10 I had earlier in the year, and I'm currently doing 2 shows. I currently have only 1 day free, and in the next few weeks I'll be busy as. Hopefully I can get a balance of everything... Come to think of it, I haven't seen my parents in a while, should probably go visit them.

So come see Man of La Mancha and CSE Revue - ask me for more deets if you're interested. :D

All Marks are lovely. :D

I was having a conversation with Amy and Kim, two cast members of Man of La Mancha that I am currently musical directing. As per usual I talk about my boy Mark, and Kim mistakes Mark for Mark Mitchell at the Performance Unit at UNSW... So I went - uhhh, no, my boyfriend Mark. :D Amy then says "Awww, but Mark Mitchell is lovely. All Marks are lovely!" Obviously I concurred.

Then the following day I went for a check up for a UTI that didn't quite go away. The doctor I had was named Mark and he was also lovely. He was the first male doctor to have seemed cared without being condescending and he was just really really nice. I felt quite comfortable with him, unlike a previous doctor I had where it just didn't feel right with him. You may ask "don't you have a regular doctor?" And I do, her name is Dr Peter, but she's always fully booked and I tend to go to the one that is least busy on the day at the Broadway practice, now that the Glebe one is no longer open (which is sad... I liked Glebe medical practice).

So this just confirmed Amy's comment on how all Mark's a lovely. I know a Mark (named Mark Bradley) who always seems to be friendly and chilled, even at the most stressed times, and as my Mark says the whole building around him could be tumbling down, but Mark Bradley will still be calm and cool about things.

Today was the last official day for teaching. But I'm still teaching over the holidays. A few students want to do catch up lessons here and there, and I kinda don't mind, but it's just not a complete break. I'm also working in Dad's office in the first week because he's off skiing with my little brother. I must admit, Dad needs the break... So in a sense I don't mind coming in, just that it leaves only to one week for relaxing.

So I'm going to try and finish some of my knitting. :D

Hope you're all well!

Beware!

I should know that having a blog that's public that I should be aware of the potential readers.

My little brother found it via facebook, and then showed the previous entry to my dad, and to my horror I found that slightly embarrassing.

Also, I recently changed the name of my blog, and so the old address has links to "live web cams", and two of my friends have notified me about it... :D

Soooooooo I dunno what to do. Should I make this more of a knitting blog? There are plenty out there, and I still consider quite a newbie to knitting even though I've done it for a while. I wouldn't mind making it a knitting blog, but that requires pictures and in depth knowledge of knitting - so maybe not.

Or maybe I'll just write about things in general, like I always do. Things mundane like I've finished uni for the session, so now I can relax and sleep in. I'm only teaching now, and even that is going to be over soon. Oh and updating that I'm musical directing Man of La Mancha through NUTS on UNSW campus, and I'm pretty excited - I have to recruit an orchestra of 16 people, and I've got 2 thirds so far. To conduct an orchestra is going to be exciting! I've always been the one playing piano, as opposed to conducting, so this will be different. Musical directing behind a keyboard is sometimes pretty hard.

And my boy is famous on youtube! :D Well, not really, but his video has almost 20,000 views or something. Check out some of the stupid comments, or just watch the video below... He's the red head that looks "serious" in the video. :D

When he told me that his team won the Artemis competition, he was so happy and ecstatic... Now that he's back home, he's studying for exams and writing up his thesis - he doesn't seem as happy and ecstatic. But I love him lots! :D And I'm very proud of him.

Anyhow, I have nothing else to update that's interesting, so until next time, enjoy the webcams!

My family can be warped sometimes...

Yeap - I have another 3000 word assignment that's due tomorrow that I'm happy not to do. I bought myself some dark chocolate, and man does it smell nice... That was such a huge anecdote.

Anyhow, Mark's been away so I've been doing quite a few things on my own, which has been nice but I'm missing Mark a lot. So in one of my ventures I went to Bankstown to visit the folks, as they like to see me at least once a week, which, I agree, is a nice thing.

So everytime I visit my mother, not only does she nag about how much weight I've put on (and I haven't really put on any more weight, but I have since last year), she gossips to me about stuff and stuff. This time, she's gossiping to me about family matters from Vietnam.

I don't think I can go into extreme detail, but there was one thing that irked me. Basically, let's just say there are two people involved in this story. I'll call one Cousin A and the other one Cousin B. Both are female, and both from Vietnam and related to our family some way or another. They are not close cousins, they're pretty distant.

Now Cousin A is fortunate enough to have an older brother here in Sydney, and has another brother coming from Vietnam. She's here to study commerce at UTS, but has to do learn English to a certain level before she's allowed entry. This has been the same for her brother. Anyways, Cousin A is quite fobbish. She had no dress sense (my mum showed her), and I don't recall talking to her in English that often (usually the ones who are keen to develop their English speak to me in English and I happily speak back in English to them), and in fact I don't recall talking to her much at all. Anyhow, my dad gave her the opportunity to work for him seeing as she's studying Commerce, and dad said she ain't the brightest one he's encountered. She apparently doesn't learn quickly and she doesn't have the greatest initiative. She only worked for a while, and then stopped.

Then Cousin B came along. She, in fact, is the immediate cousin to Cousin A, and Cousin A's family is quite rich, so Cousin A's family is helping out Cousin B, and got Cousin B in touch with my dad. Cousin B is also learning commerce at uni, and so dad took her under his wing, and apparently she is a lot brighter and hard working, and her english was a lot better. She seemed to grasp things pretty quickly and dad was impressed, and was thinking of sponsoring her as an employer to speed up her visa status. Then, due to conflicts back in Vietnam, Cousin B was forced to stop working for my dad, and she was made to go work in a pharmacy of a family friend (a field in which she's definitely not studying for) and to top it off, the pharmacy didn't offer her enough hours for her to work and earn enough money.

Cousin A and her brother were living with Cousin B in a sharehouse that is owned by my mother's friend. Apparently the share was around $160 a week or something, and Cousins A and B had to share one room. Because of the whole "our family is supporting yours" kinda thing, Cousin B was forced to pay $100 a week for her share, which was totally unfair and uneven. And apparently that included food, but for times when both Cousin A and her brother were out, she has to fork out money on top of that. Because of conflicts back in Vietnam (the same that I referred to earlier) Cousin A and her brother decided to move out of Bankstown and to Cabramatta, and asked Cousin B to come along, but she refused. She said she found it difficult to study with another person in her room, and seeing as Cousin A doesn't study at all (apparently she watches films on her laptop) Cousin B found her distracting. Cousin B then stayed back in Bankstown on her own, in her own room, for $60 a week including food. She found the pharmacy job a bit tiring and out of her way, and kept telling my mother's friend that she wanted to work at my dad's place. My mum's friend then told my mother, and mum said that she has to call herself and then mum will let her come back.

So Cousin B called last Sunday, and basically arranged to quit the pharmacy job and come back and work for my dad. Mum's happy with that because Dad needs all the help he can get because business is busy without anyone to assist him, and also mum wants to nurture those who work hard (as opposed to me... hehehee).

So, what did I realise out of this story? There are two kinds of international students: ones who buy their way through the system because they have the money and they can, and the ones who work really hard because they don't have the same opportunity back at home.

Cousin A comes from quite an affluent Vietnamese family. The fact that they can support 3 children in Australia means that they're earning a surplus of $30 000 for sure. Apparently Cousin A's grades aren't that great, and she spends most of her time at home just watching movies on her laptop. My mother seems to help her heaps, but she lacks initiative.

Cousin B however comes from a well off family, but not enough to support her 100%. They can pay for her education, but her living expenses are not as generous as Cousin A's. Hence the reason why Cousin B wanted to work for my dad - he was able to offer her more than 1 day a week, and it was closer to home and close to what she is studying, so therefore for her it is beneficial on more than one level. She is very career focused, and she has a strong work ethic, something that dad picked up on whilst she was working. The fact that she actually studies in her spare time instead of just watching movies and stuff is commendable. But the reason why she is told not to work for my dad was due to family politics back in Vietnam, and due to my grandmother being narrow minded and my dad's cousin being easily offended, Cousin B had to suffer.

So I don't mind if Cousin A doesn't get what she wants, she basically doesn't really work for it. But for Cousin B to suffer due to people being ignorant or sensitive, I think is unfair as she seems hard working and shows to be a promising individual.

It angers me how some people back in Vietnam have no idea how it is like in Australia. Yes, we probably do have it a lot better than most in Vietnam, but to say that we don't need to work to get to where we are and that everything is given to us on a silver platter, I think that's just plain naivety. My aunts from my mother's side had that problem, thinking that no one had to work hard for themselves. They did not realise that my dad went through a lot to get where he is. And what my grandma thinks is unfair is just due to the fact that she is ignorant of the laws and regulations that obviously don't exist in Vietnam.

Anyhow, it's late and I'm going around in circles, or my argument is convoluted. But yah, I am to curious to meet Cousin B, apparently she wanted to go see Annie Get Your Gun with my family, but because of feuding and disputes back in Vietnam, she was not allowed to have contact with our family. Now that she's working for dad again, hopefully I'll get to meet her. I have a feeling that she is the daughter that they wanted me to be - hardworking and following in the footsteps of my dad... I'm glad they have another outlet to fulfill their dreams, I'm sorry mummy and daddy that I can't do that for you. Unfortunately I was born here and I was given access to so much information that I was able to teach myself what I wanted and find out a lot of things for myself. Hurrah for independence (to some degree... :D).

Stuff and procrastination

So I'm procrastinating again. From what?, you may ask. A dreaded essay which is already 5 days late. And when I hopefully finish it tonight or tomorrow morning, I have another 3000 word essay due the following week, plus my log book which is 4 or 5 entries behind (that means roughly 600-750 words that I need to catch up on, but it's basically on my opinion and what I've learnt and possibly extra reading, which is a good thing I guess).

I'm the opposite of Mark, I think. Despite the obvious reasons being he's a boy and I'm a girl, I'm physically Asian (although I feel as though my mindset ain't) and he's such a white boy, it's pretty obvious that Mark is the hard worker and, like, I'm not. :D I'm definitely not an academic, even though people may say I'm kinda smart and what not (I'm not that smart, I think my boy is like ten times smarter than me), and in order to show that I'm "smart" I have to work pretty hard and to be honest, I can't be bothered.

My parents are wanting me to finish my degree sooner rather than later. I told my dad the other day that due to timetabling I may just have to stay back for another session and finish just one subject off, but that will allow me to work full time and start saving money to go overseas with my gorgeous boy for a whole year. Dad didn't seem to like that prospect. But I do want to travel whilst Mark and I are old enough to be brave and try new things, but not be too young and naive that we'd make stupid mistakes or we're not allowed to do things like drink alcohol in the US (I'm kinda thankful that I've left it til after I'm 21 to go there, otherwise Vegas would be boring... it was boring when I was there as a 7 year old).

I actually can't wait to start full time teaching. I don't mind teaching for a year or so. I do eventually wanna do something like Honours or Masters if I get to choose what I want to study. For my masters I wanna do film studies at UTS possibly, and learn how to make a film all over again. I didn't really enjoy film theory at UNSW, and as much as I enjoyed studying about film genres, I still hate writing essays.

I've discovered that I'm probably ten times better at doing things like presentations. I got a distinction the other day thinking that I was under prepared for that presentation, but she commented on how I explained my topic thoroughly and answered the questions well and what not, and the mark was almost a HD. But my writing is shocking - it was only Credit standard, and it exemplifies how I just don't like writing. First and Second year stuff were a bit easier and less words and all, and about topics that I know thoroughly well, but for Aboriginal music (this essay which is already 5 days late) I feel inadequate again, and I hate my writing style, as I feel it is mediocre and just not academic enough. Sigh... If I do decide to do Honours or Masters, it'll definitely be mostly, if not all, course work, and not Thesis work. And the thesis work involved will definitely be of a topic that interests me thoroughly. :D

After this affirmation that I hate essay writing, I also came to think that I'm one of the most fickle people around. One day I would say I wanna go back to studying, and the next day I wanna go into full time work. But I can't really get into full time work without a degree, although the part-time job I have at the moment wants me on full-time, and it shows that I don't need a degree in order to do this job. I can't wait until next year where all I need to worry about is teaching during the day, and I could do things like procrastinate on the internet and knit and stuff in my spare time. And probably hang out and do things like watch movies and theatre, and go out and be creative and all that. Maybe the extent of my learnings would be to take up a photography course online so that I can take awesome photos by the time I go overseas...

Anyhows, now that shows are dying down and I'm getting less busy, I really need to concentrate and ho-down on my assignments for the next two weeks until uni finishes. This really shows that I'm pretty good at starting things, just not finishing things... and you could probably tell by my knitting - ten zillion projects at the one time, but have I really finished many? Nah...

Oh, and Markyboo is going to Greece this Friday for the Artemis Project Competition. I'm tres excited for him! His syndicate is entering a Clarinet playing robot, and apparently it's quite behind schedule, but hopefully all will be well once it gets there. Gonna miss him for a whole week! We've been spending every day with eachother for the past 5 or so months, it's been crazy! Also, we've been going out for 9 months already... 3 more months and it'll be a year. It would be my first ever official long term relationship, I wonder what else is in store!

Little things that make me smile

- Mark telling me he loves me, and that I'm perfect

- My Daddy calling me just to see how I am, even though I said I was going to come and visit earlier in the week but didn't

- A lecturer saying that I did a very good presentation even though I only had one and a bit weeks to prepare, was first in line and felt under prepared

- Seeing a difference in attitudes from people after addressing why I was upset with them

- Chocolate

- Dogs that are ultra friendly, especially the Golden Retrievers over at the director of ISM's house

- Having the house to myself

- Knitting

- Listening to awesome music

- Seeing my friends happy

I'm a Catholic, a sister, a girlfriend, and above all other things, terrible.

*****Warning: It's a long entry, so if you don't read it now, I'll rant it to you in person.*****

So the Easter break comes by, and what decides to come to greet me? A dose of the cold and gastro. It was fun*.

I didn't go to Good Friday mass, and, I must admit, I had the Catholic guilt tugging behind me like a puppy with three legs and one eye. I have been raised by a very Catholic family, whom are funnily enough not always the most Christian people I know. When I say Christian, I mean forgiving, sympathetic, empathetic, compassionate, loving, generous - the virtues that the religion tends to try and educate en masse. My dad, ironically, I think is more Christian than my mother, even though Dad converted into Catholicism to marry my mother because my mother demanded it**. My mother, however, even though I do love her, forgives but never forgets (which in my mind, I don't think is real forgiveness), is hardly sympathetic because she thinks I'm the drama queen and even though I know she loves me, sometimes I find it hard to accept it when all she does is criticise my every move and my physical being. Dad does more volunteer work in the church than mum does, so when my mother tells me off for not going to church I don't feel that guilty, because even though mum has been going to church without fail for the past few years, I haven't seen her become more generous in her time, or more sympathetic towards others (especially when it's all about gossip), or more understanding. I claim I'm a non-ritualistic Catholic - that I do appreciate going to mass, but just not on a weekly basis, and I still believe most of the teachings the church provides (I just don't agree with some of the doctrines, like sex before marriage, and contraception, and abortion... but let's talk about that another time).

I know it's easy to criticise and be hypocritical, and I must admit I am hypocritical at the best of times, but for my mother to tell me off because I haven't been to church even though my mother going to church without fail for the past few years hasn't really stopped her from being as "sinful" as me, then I think I'm entitled to my break from religion. It's been the first time in (probably) my whole entire life that I've missed a Good Friday mass, and one out of 23 ain't that bad.

Due to my sickness, I was a bit low energy for Med Revue, and following that I was totally focusing on recovering on Tuesday for one of my bosses. Being aloof and always double booking myself, over the weekend I also agreed to picking up Tony after school on Tuesday... but forgot. So when I got a missed phone call from home at the end of teaching my last class on Tuesday afternoon, the first reaction was "SHIT! I FORGOT TONY!" and called him straight away. Thankfully he took the bus to my place and was waiting outside, and whilst waiting he was doing his homework, but for a good 2.5 hours he was left wondering where I was and why I haven't picked him up. I got there, and he was all forgiving and said "That's ok..." but I knew deep down inside he was hurt because someone close to him had the ability to forget about him. I remember when I was younger my dad always took his sweet time picking me up, and one stage I thought he forgot me when I was left at school for a good hour or so. There was also once on a Parent/Teacher interview night where he was a good hour and a half late, and I hated to keep the teachers waiting, and for someone who declared that my education was very important and that I had to be top of the class, he seemed a bit careless when it actually came to showing that to others besides myself. So when Tony told me that he wasn't angry at me, just slightly upset, I truly felt what he was feeling and I became that horrible monster that dad was when I was crying to myself anxiously waiting near the gates of the school, wondering why I was so forgettable. I also now know how life and work can get the better of you, that you tend to forget that there are those who still depend on you and they're around you hanging on for your next word, but you're too self-absorbed to even notice. I'm so sorry Tony, and I swear I'll make it up to you***.

And whenever I talk to people about religion, and I tell them that I'm Catholic (and don't worry, I'm not that devout), I say that the one thing that I'm totally grateful for is the fact that I've learnt to be generous through being Catholic. So generous that when I got the cold and gastro, I gave it to the one I love most - my boyfriend, Mark. So over the weekend he was driving me everywhere (to rehearsal, back home from Bankstown, yadda yadda yadda) and trying to take care of me that he eventually got sick himself - but, like, times ten. He got gastro big time. To the extent that this morning, he woke up at 3 and didn't stop vomiting until around about 9 or 10. He was on the drip from about 6.30 til midday, and after that he still felt a bit ill, but was able to get home and kinda relax. I felt kinda bad because I gave it to him, but also it was a chance to test my girlfriend capabilities - how much do I love this boy that I'm willing to clean out a bucket of his bile and watch him throw up every half an hour? I must admit, I think I love him quite a bit to endure it all... I felt sorry for him, because when he's sick, he gets quite sensitive, and I believe when someone's sick you can see the little kid in them, being vulnerable and helpless and in need of some tender loving care. Thankfully Mark is steadily recovering, and it makes me realise that when you live with someone as a couple, you share more than just a bed - woot! You share saliva and therefore sicknesses.

So in summary, in the past few days, I've done nothing terribly productive in terms of the many uni assignments I have, and I've been a horrible Christian, sister and girlfriend. But I've been able to finish more knitting (thanks to the few hours of waiting time in the emergency ward of Balmain Hospital and RPA), have more of an excuse to feed my brother liquid sugar, and have been able to take care of my boy to show him how much I love him dearly. I'll deal with uni work later.

But for now, I should resume my domestic duties. *Sigh* Laundry, cleaning, bah!



* Notice the hint of sarcasm there.
** She is now telling me to get Mark to convert to Catholicism too.
*** With TWO slurpees at the Easter Show! :D

Shananigans Galore

I've been busy... just a bit. Tonight is the final show that I'm doing with Alix, and is my second show for the year. Uni just started this week, and teaching has been going on for a while, but I'm hoping to have more teaching work soon, otherwise I may just as well get another job on top of what I have.

So everything has eventually started, and I already feel bombarded. I have quite a bit of work to do for uni, and I have a bit of work to do show wise as well... Med Revue is coming up and that I shall be having to find time to juggle for. I'm also doing Annie Get Your Gun with Waverly Lugar Brae Players, so therefore May is going to be one big motherf***er of a month with 2 shows and being 3 quarters into the uni session with assignments and assessments due everywhere.

Today has been the first day where I didn't really have to do anything... All day I lazed around, and slept - a lot - except for the show tonight. Today has been a really tired day, because I think I drank just a little bit too much wine last night, and my body is trying to recover.

On Thursday night, my parents went to see the show, and Mark's parents was also there. And now they've met. It was slightly nerve wracking, but nevertheless it was bound to happen, seeing as I think my parents seem to like him quite a bit, and his parents seem to like me quite a bit also. So it's all important that everything works out, because I seriously want it to work out... Mark is very important to me, and I do hope nothing will get in the way of this.

Doing photography this session, and I'm absolutely loving it so far. It's only been one week, but it's been a great learning how the camera works and stuff... I wanna go to COFA or some postgrad photography school and learn photography as an artform... It's quite inspiring, but I dunno whether I'll be good at it or not. We'll see how my assessments turn out.

There's so much to do in the next few weeks - do uni homework and readings, research on things, practice piano, go to galleries of photo exhibitions, etc. Knitting has also slowed down because I'm doing so much, and that makes me sad... I love knitting and there have been times where I don't feel like it, but there have been other times where I love doing it I can't stop!

Anyhow, I'm hoping to focus on my work, and balance between shows, uni and teaching. I was looking at my WAM not long ago, and it doesn't look too great. Not that I really need my degree for anything, but for someone who used to work hard, I feel as though not only did I let my parents down, I think I let myself down. But having Mark as a hardworking, intelligent boyfriend, I'm hoping I can do better this year, so that I graduate with something, or even get into Honours for next year (need a credit average for it). I dunno what I really wanna do, I kinda want to do well, but I kinda wanna just graduate and move on.

So, I should make my way to the show now... Have been bludging all day, but hopefully tomorrow I will pick up the pace and do all the work I need to do. :D

Trusting others and trusting yourself.

I feel as though I have a great amount of trust in people sometimes. Not to the general public, though, but towards friends and family.

One of my exs has told me that even though through all the hurt and confusion that I've been through love wise, I somehow seem to still have the ability to find love and possibility no matter what. He was definitely talking about Mark, and yah, even though I've been hurt quite a bit by boys treating me harshly, I still had the capability to be myself and fully immerse myself into my relationship with Mark.

So when I see friends having trouble trusting others when they are in the beginnings of a potential relationship or they seem interested in someone, they don't have the courage to pursue further because they don't trust the other person or themselves. And to be honest, I do try to understand and empathise, but sometimes I do think - just get over it, and be strong about it! Even though I myself am guilty of being lame in getting over things.

I think everything seems a bit rosy to me right now because I'm terribly happy in a relationship. We've been going out for 6 months now, and usually now is the time things go wrong (in every other relationship I've had), but right now it's perfect. So I don't know whether my positivity is due to my relationship with Mark, or whether I had this all the entire time. I must admit though, it didn't take me long to move on from one serious boyfriend to another - I think the longest time was around 3-4 months? And sometimes I feel that I haven't exactly gotten over the last one, but a few months into the current relationship, and I'm totally over it and smitten and just happy and on cloud nine.

I guess everyone approaches things their own way, but it kinda upsets me that some of my friends deny themselves of the same potential happiness that I have because they're afraid of getting hurt. I mean, isn't that what life is all about? If you don't experience hurt, all the good things that happen to you don't seem as special or as nice. I guess it is all relative, but I find that all the shit that happened to me made me appreciate the awesome things a lot lot more. Also, the hurt and bad and terrible experiences gives me something to talk about, rant about, and draw emotion from if I'm trying to do something creative and what not. But essentially, with all the crappy things around, there are good things to balance everything out.

I just wanna see my friends have courage to just get out there and get the happiness they deserve, and not worry about being hurt, and not worry about their image and self esteem, because to me they deserve it no matter what, and past experiences and stupid social conventions and superficiality should not get in the way of finding someone "to be home with", as one of my close friends would say.

Twas my birthday last week...

And it was heaps and heaps of fun. For a Wednesday, I thought it was a great turn out, and the fact that last year only, say, less than 10 people came to visit me for my birthday, this year there were roughly 40 or so special people who came.

The day started with a breakfast with my boy at the cafe we like to hang around in for breakfast, called "Le Petite Tart". Then I went into the city and bought my boyfriend his Valentine's Day gift. I know I could've done it the following day, but I didn't feel like it. I wanted to do it then and there. Then I came home, finished knitting a sock for my new iPod that I got from the parentals, and went out for a picnic with my old Angel friends. We had champagne and cheese and chocolate and port, and then we dawdled to The Different Drummer, which was where I was having my birthday gathering. I didn't know how many people were turning up, and the manager was like "You should've booked next time"... Saw a lot of cool friends and oldies from NUTS and 3ma, and lots of CSE revuers as well. Had a total of 10ish standard drinks because I had 5 cocktails during happy hour, it was awesome! Got totally drunk but had heaps of fun.

Got home at about 10 to midnight, and after Mark had a shower I was like "It's Valentine's Day! Open your present!" and he was ecstatic when he discovered it was a Pizza Oven! Basically it's a grill with a ceramic plate to make pizzas, and he was so excited, and I was so happy that he loved it! He got me for my birthday (and I told him not to worry about Valentines) a 160 gb hard drive to replace my old 40 gb because I complained how my iPod had more memory than my laptop! And for Valentine's Day we made pizza after he came home from work. It was yummy and heaps of fun to do!

Also caught up with my little brother the day before my birthday where he gave me the iPod and a $50 gift voucher for the iTunes store. He was very sweet, and the first thing he said when he saw me was "Happy Birthday for tomorrow Vanessa!" and gave me a hug. Makes me think I taught him well.

And another thing that caught me by surprise was a message from a student that I used to teach last year, smsing me to come back and teach them again because they miss me and asked whether they were that horrible to teach! I obviously said of course not, and that I miss teaching them as well. It was a surprise sms and it almost made me cry, but these type of things I can help, seeing as I can't really teach them anymore due to uni timetabling and everything.

I can't wait for uni to start. I need to start using my brain again, and moving around. I've been quite sedantry, but yah... sigh. I have been busy with rehearsals and shows, though, seems all so much! And teaching too. But I'm having fun, and life has been treating me well thus far.

And Mark moving in has been a blast. He's been really good so far, and it feels so nice waking up to him next to me in the morning. He's the perfect boyfriend, and I just feel so lucky to have him...

Oh and Birch's part was such fun too... Pity he's going to the states though. Got him this awesome book as a going away present - it was a picture book with a hole in the middle, so that the manhood can be a character in a story... Very amusing, and just Birch all over. He got all sentimental and saying "I love you" to everyone, which was really cute, and just being drunk Birch really.

So last week and weekend was quite a bit of fun. And even though I wasn't exactly looking forward to turning 23, I think this year would be a great year for me... Year of the Rat, which is my year, should be a great year for me. Let's hope that I finally finish a degree this year. Woot!

Holidays almost over...

So these holidays I think was quite productive, with sufficient rest and relaxing... What did I do?

1. Christmas with Mark's family: it was a nice trip, and I got to meet his extended family and spend Christmas with Mark.
   
2. Knitting: I took up more knitting, and I manage to finish 3 projects - 2 scarves and a quick job of making a sock for a friend's Nintendo DS console. I've bought a book and a magazine, and have started up another 2 projects - an aviator beanie for my little brother and a wrap possibly for my mother if she likes it.
3. TV series: Caught up with Scrubs Seasons 5 and 6, and am currently watching Gilmore Girls, and am up to Series 2.
4. De-cluttering: have gotten rid of some clothes - 2 bags worth! And did some cleaning around the house. Still need to get rid of some clothes, but cleared most of my things...
5. Hein's room makeover: That was fun, helped him out getting more things for his room, and reorganised his room with clothes racks and bedside tables and heaps and heaps of candles which is cool
6. My own room makeover: Mark got me some candle things, and he put them up on my wall, and put some hangings up on my wall as well.
   
7. Gym: this week I've been back at the gym, so hopefully I can keep it up for the rest of the year, or at least until my gym membership is over.
   
8. ISM: did some calls here and there, and did some retraining, and tried to organise my teaching schedule... I like organising my life, it's fun!
9. Marky Baby: yah, not only did I do him, he's moved in! He paid rent as of last week, and he's now an official member of our household. We'll see how this pans out. :D
   

So for someone who is terribly lazy, I did quite a bit for 4-5ish weeks. I caught up with friends, and I had a bit of alone time, and when school starts teaching starts, and then a month later uni starts... I'm slowly starting to get busy, doing a bit of accompanying for shows and stuff, and theatre is kicking off again.

I'm sad that holidays will be over, but I'm also excited to get busy again and start doing all these projects and finishing uni! :D

Passions come, passions go.

Well, I dunno whether my passions for things actually go, per se, but they definitely rise and fall in the level of passion I have for it.

For instance - musicals. I love musicals. And I love directing them or musically directing them, or watching them, or listening to them. At one stage my life ambition was to work in New York and direct a musical, but right now I'm not really wanting that anymore. I have applied for directing and musical directing in Short, Sweet and Song this year, but I dunno whether I'll get in.

But musicals have been quite a passion for me for quite some time, especially in the last few years, until I found knitting. Suddenly I'm trying to extend my knitting abilities and such, and researching online what I wanna knit and different yarns... And it's amazing that when you have a passion suddenly your eyes open up to things that I would normally pass, like I saw this knitting store today whilst I was driving home from refresher teacher training, even though I've driven past it so many times. Also decided to go online to look for certain knitting stores around my area, as I only know of one which is in Newtown, and discovered one in the city which has apparently 2 levels! And Cecile told me that apparently the knitting level is huge... And on the website it says it's looking for employees, I wonder if I can apply...

And from visiting all these knitting stores online and in person, I want to open up my own knitting store one day, hopefully in Glebe. This is my current ambition, and it's funny how it's changed from wanting to direct a Broadway musical to owning a modest tapestry store in the inner city west.

Also want to refresh my interest in photography - thankfully am taking some general education subjects in photography and that will help the kickstart into serious amateur photography. I've got the cameras, just need the motivation and the drive to go and do it!

So really, passions for me don't really go, I just get new passions that tend to overtake the old ones for a while until the newer ones kinda lose its initial novelty and I rekindle the old passions. One thing, though, my passion for music will always be with me. Whatever I do, I need music and this will be an important aspect in my life.

Inspirations and Aspirations...

Well it is 2008, and here comes another year. Of course a lot of us have a lot of new year's resolutions, and I have quite a few of mine, some that were also last year's resolutions that didn't quite seem to work out.

But rather than talking about the same things over again - what I wanna do and achieve this year, I wanna talk about what inspired me to make these resolutions (which I kinda will keep to myself... :D).

My credit card bill: looking at it makes me realise I spend too much money. You can guess what that resolution is.

Justin Timberlake: I bought his DVD on boxing day at JB HiFi, and not only is he hot, he's an awesome performer. He has an awesome voice, and his vocal ability is pretty impressive, and he plays the guitar and piano, and dances so well. His musicality and artistry is something to admire, and his stage presence just tops it off. I know I really don't wanna be a solo performer, but being in his band would be awesome, and whenever I go to live gigs, I always walk away going I would love to do what the musicians do on stage. *sigh*

University: I'm not sick of the lifestyle, but I really need closure from it. I'm debating whether to finish it this year with one degree, or next year with two degrees. Still thinking...

Travelling: I want to travel around the world... and I've planned to do a whole year with Mark, hopefully to go in 2009 or 2010. So basically finish uni, save money, and go!

Health: I'm the heaviest that I've ever been in my whole entire life, so it's terribly clear what my intentions are with this comment...

And finally...

Mark: What can I say??? He's just awesome...